Here in Georgia the first bell rings in a few days. There are supply lists on my counter right now, and forms that need signing, and a stack of things that have to be bought before Sunday. If your house looks anything like mine, you already know the feeling.

What wears women out in August is not the errands. It is the tracking. Somebody has to hold the whole calendar in her head, remember which child needs which folder, notice that the shoes no longer fit, and keep the schedule running while everyone else simply shows up. That work is invisible, which is exactly why it is exhausting. Nobody thanks you for it because nobody sees it.

And nobody hands the mother a list.

Three things to do before the first bell

Name what is actually yours. Write out everything you are carrying for this school year, then go back through and mark what genuinely belongs to you. Some of it is yours. Some of it belongs to your husband, your co-parent, your child, or the school. You have been carrying items that were never assigned to you, simply because you noticed them first.

Decide now what you will drop. Not in October when you are already underwater. Now, while you can still think. Pick the thing you will not do this year. The elaborate lunches, the volunteer sign-up, the perfect first-day photo. Choose it on purpose, in advance, so that when it goes undone it is a decision instead of a failure.

Put one thing on the calendar that is only for you. Not a haircut you have postponed twice. Something you actually want. Then treat it like the dentist appointment you would never cancel, because you would not cancel that on your child either.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Matthew 11:28

The season will still be full

I am not going to tell you that a slow August is possible. It usually is not. What is possible is going into it as a whole person instead of a scheduling system with a pulse.

The house needs you steady more than it needs you spread thin. Put yourself somewhere on that list. Not at the top, if that feels like too much right now. Just on it.

With you on the journey,
Autumn