Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that the closer you get to God, the less fun you are allowed to have. Serious women. Quiet women. Women who never laugh too loud or dance in the kitchen or plan a girls' night that goes past ten. We called it holiness. A lot of it was just fear with a Bible verse attached.

I want to lovingly take that lie off of you today, because it is costing you joy that God never asked you to give up.

Joy is in the Book

Read Ecclesiastes 3. There is a time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. Dancing made the list. Laughter made the list. The same God who commands us to grieve honestly also made room for us to celebrate fully. He turned water into wine at a wedding. He told parables about feasts. He said He came so that we could have life, and have it abundantly.

You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.Psalm 16:11

Joy in His presence. Pleasures at His right hand. That is not a God who is annoyed by your happiness. That is a Father who delights in it.

Where the fear comes from

For many of us it goes back to the good girl thing. If you were raised to be the responsible one, the example, the one who did not embarrass the family or the church, fun started to feel dangerous. What if someone sees? What if it looks like I am not taking God seriously? So you shrank. You stopped going. You turned down the invitation and then felt lonely about it.

Here is what I know now. God is not watching to catch you enjoying yourself. He is the one who gave you the capacity for it.

Discernment is not the same as deprivation

Now let me be clear, because I am not telling you anything goes. There is wisdom in what you give your time to, who you spend it with, and what you let into your spirit. Some rooms are not for you. Some things that call themselves fun will leave you empty and ashamed, and you know the difference.

But discernment asks, does this honor God and leave me whole? Deprivation asks, will someone think less of me? One is Spirit-led. The other is people-led. You can say no to the first kind of thing and a full, loud, joyful yes to the rest.

Go have the good time

Host the girls' night. Play the silly game. Laugh until your face hurts. Take the trip. Buy the dress. Dance at the wedding like somebody raised you right and also raised you free. None of it makes you less holy. Being joyful in the life God gave you is one of the most honest forms of worship there is.

Sit with this

Name one thing you stopped doing because you thought it made you look less spiritual. Ask God directly whether He ever asked you to give it up. Then, if the answer is no, put it on your calendar this month.

If joy has felt far away, The Becoming Girl workbook is about stepping fully into the woman God made you to be. That includes the one who laughs.

With you on the journey,
Autumn