Somewhere along the way, you may have absorbed the idea that healing comes with a clock. That after a certain amount of time you should be fine, you should be moving on, you should have wrapped the whole thing up in a neat lesson and a grateful heart. And when you are not there yet, you feel like you are failing.
I want to say this gently and clearly. Nobody gave you a deadline. The pressure to be over it by now is not from God.
Grief is not linear
Healing does not move in a straight line. You can feel steady for weeks and then get knocked down by a song, a smell, a date on the calendar. That is not regression. That is how grief works. It comes in waves, and the waves do not check whether you think enough time has passed.
The people who tell you to hurry up are usually uncomfortable with their own pain, not yours. Their timeline is about them. You do not have to adopt it.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.Psalm 34:18
Permission to still be in it
You are allowed to still be tender. You are allowed to still have hard days years later. Being close to God does not require you to rush your sorrow. He sits with the brokenhearted, and He is not tapping His foot waiting for you to feel better.
So take the pressure off. You are not behind. You are healing at the pace healing actually takes, which is slower and gentler than the world wants it to be. Keep going, and let it take the time it takes.
With you on the journey,
Autumn