I have known loss. I will not put all of it here, because some of it is still too close and some of it belongs to people who are not mine to write about. But I will tell you this: grief changed how I see God, and not in the way I expected. I thought it would make Him feel far away. Instead, it showed me how close He has been the entire time.

If you are reading this with an empty chair in your life, I want to speak to you gently and honestly, because the holidays are coming and they do not wait for you to be ready.

Grief is not a problem to solve

We are a fix-it culture, even in the church. Someone dies and within weeks people want to know if you are doing better. They mean well. But grief does not have a finish line. It has a shape that changes. Some days it is a dull ache you can carry around. Some days it knocks you flat in the grocery store because of a song. Both days are normal. Neither one means you are failing at healing.

You do not owe anyone a timeline. You do not have to be okay by Thanksgiving. You do not have to pretend at Christmas. You are allowed to miss them out loud.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.Psalm 34:18

God does not rush you

The shortest verse in the Bible is also one of the most tender. Jesus wept. He stood at the tomb of a friend He was about to raise, fully knowing the ending, and He still cried. He did not skip the sorrow because He had the solution. He entered it.

That is the God you are grieving with. Not one who taps His foot waiting for you to get your faith back. One who sits down on the floor next to you and stays as long as it takes.

What helped me

I wrote it down. All of it. The anger, the questions, the memories I was afraid of losing, the prayers that were mostly just their name. Writing gave the grief somewhere to go besides my chest. It became the beginning of every workbook I have ever made. Healing, for me, started as a page I was not sure anyone would read.

I also let people help. This one was harder. I did not want to be the one who needed. But grief carried alone gets heavier, not lighter. Let someone bring the meal. Let someone sit with you and say nothing. Let your church family be family.

For the holidays ahead

Sit with this

Write a letter to the person you are missing. Tell them what has happened since. Tell them what you wish you had said. Then read Psalm 34:18 over yourself, out loud, and let it be true for today.

If you are carrying grief into this season, The Healing Girl workbook was written with you in mind. It will not rush you. It will just walk beside you, one page at a time.

With you on the journey,
Autumn